there is a part of me, a part deep down inside of me, that longs to be at peace. i don't know what it is, i don't know why there is a continuous battle going on deep inside of me, a struggle that i cannot seem to find source of. this battle, i thought it would end when the craziness of these last two years ended, but it hasn't. the pit of my stomach [you know, the part of your stomach that rumbles before a job interview, a first date, or a huge roller coster] is constantly tight. maybe it is because there are so many unknowns. maybe it is because change in on the horizon, and that petrifies me. maybe it is because i am scared i am going to make the wrong decision concerning my future. maybe it is because i am so scared of failure.
i hate this unrest in the pit of my stomach. i long for peace. i long for that feeling of comfort. i long for the feeling in the pit of my stomach to simply disappear. i know God has big plans for me, i simply wish i knew how to better trust him, so that i can be overwhelmed with the peace that i know he has for me.
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