it's monday.

it's monday. boy, is it monday. we had our first critical care test today. it actually wasn't as bad as everyone was expecting.phew. that is all i have to say. 1 down, 4 to go! and there are 95 days left till graduation in case you were wondering. the rest of this week is going to be busy. actually, i think the word busy is an understatement...paper due wednesday, 1st case study due thursday, work friday, pals [that's pediatric advanced life support for all of my non-medical friends] saturday, and work again on sunday. shoot.
on a side note, i got to have dinner with my old roommate emily on saturday. and can i just say, life is so much better when you live it intentionally. mankind is not an island, and i am so glad that i have really been living my life according to that. God created us to be in fellowship with one another, not to go through this life alone. wow. that was a tangent. anyway, emily. we had dinner on saturday [and it gave me a nice break from studying for my test]. and she was so sweet and brought me flowers as a house warming gift [because this was her first trip to my house]! i absolutely love fresh flowers, so this just made my week! aren't they beautiful...







and i am on the neurological icu tomorrow at clinical...which makes me kind of nervous. cranial nerves have never been my strong point. this is going to be interesting...

happy monday everyone!

yay and [nay].

yay
1. late night runs around the apu track
2. fresh coffee
3. the little something that lit candles add to a room
4. good friends becoming nurses together
5. God's overwhelming grace and unfailing love
6. pandora
7. 97 days till graduation
8. starbucks miniature donuts and venti mistos

nay
1. sleep deprivation
2. case studies
3. test anxiety
4. not having enough time in a day
5. lafd hiring freeze
6. school loans
7. not having time to see the fam bam
8. community laundry room

double digit midget.

i realize for the people who read this on a regular basis, you are probably starting to get tired of hearing about my countdown to graduation, and i apologize. however, you are just going to have to [deal with it], because we are almost there, and my countdowns are not going anywhere. because today ladies and gentlemen, today i became a double digit midget. that's right, 99 day till graduation [!!!!!!!][insert ecstatic phrase here]. dude. so pumped [maybe this is a reason that my dating census is low, i talk like a guy. awesome. i'll add this to the list of things i need to work on]. anywho. 2 digits. finally. sweet sweet victory.
to change subjects a bit, on tuesday, when i went to my mail box to get my mail, i found this.





that's right, my name on my mail box. after nearly 6 months of living here, i finally got my name on my mail box. i felt so official. and grown up. it was a great feeling, and i get giddy every time i go and check my mail. yes, i am a nerd [but this shouldn't be news to any of you].

hump day.

100 days.
100 days. in 100 days i will finally be done with this journey. i will get to sign my name erin rebecca minnick, bsn [and shorting after... rn, bsn, phn]. i am ecstatic. this number getting smaller each day gives me motivation to keep going. to keep fighting on. i am trying really hard to not think about the million things that i need to accomplish before may 7th, but it is ok. this is the final lap, the final victory lap. ahhhh, i am just so excited.
and on a side note, i got to spend the afternoon with my old partner katie thompson. thompson, that you for bringing me cookies [i swear you are going to make me diabetic], thank you for sharing your heart, and thank you for listening to my current struggles [and asking to see my newly formed arm muscles]. you are the best. and i love you.






[a few snapshots of our last shift together as partners]
happy hump day everyone!

being intentional...

at the beginning of this year, i decided that i really wanted to be intentional with everything that i do. i wanted to be intentional with my friendships, with my time, with my school experiences, with training for the fire department, with my family, with taking my vitamins, and with my walk with God. as i mentioned in an earlier blog post, i felt like my life was just passing me by, and i really want to take a hold of it. this "new quest" [if you can call it that...] has been harder than it sounds. in the past, i would [in a sense] blame my hermit like living on the fact that i was exhausted [exhausted from work, exhausted from school, exhausted from life...you get the picture], and that is such a lame excuse [pardon my high school terminology] to have. if i am not intentional and go after what i want because i am too tired, this precious life that God has blessed me with is simply going to slip through my fingers. so i am really trying to be better about being intentional with, well everything! but i know the journey ahead of me is still long.
on a side note, i had a reunion with my precious friends lauren and chawna last night! these amazing ladies were my study buddies during my pre-nursing days at biola, and have been such a blessing and encouragement in my life over the years...i honestly don't think i would have gotten into nursing school without them. anyway, we all met up at the irvine spectrum and got dinner, chatted, and walked around...it was so great. the last time i had seen them was in august on chawna's wedding day, so it was so great to catch up with both of them and hear about their lives. thank you ladies for a great evening, it was so good being in fellowship with you two!


[reunion at irvine spectrum!]

and on a side note, i am so blessed by grace westmore. look at the sweet note that i she surprised me with tonight:



grace, couldn't do this without you. fight on dear friend, only 101 [!!!!!!] more days.

and with that...i am off to tuesday night yoga. aka, one of my new favorite activities...and something else i want to be intentional about.

my humble abode on hollyvale street [and the aggravations that come with you].

so i am going to take a minute. just a minute. to vent. i want to hold a seminar for everyone that lives on my street. the title of the seminar would be: how to parallel park!. maybe they didn't get it in driving school, maybe they are not equipped with situational awareness, or perhaps they could just care less. needless to say, the people on my street cannot parallel park to save their lives. i am sure some of you are confused by this accusation, thus here is my explanation. everyone on my street seems to love parking approximately 4 ft away from either the car in front of or behind them. as a result, you have dozens of cars with 4 ft in front, AND behind them [which is definitely NOT enough room to park a car], and dozens of people driving up and down the street praying that someone leaves their apartment for a late night ice cream run so that you can snag their spot, or getting really creative with your parking spots and pray that your car has not been towed when you leave for work the next morning. so people, please just pull forward [or back up] so you are closer to the car in front of [or behind] you, so that there is room for all of us on our little street. thank you. the management.
second aggravation. my new neighbors in apartment #12. all i have to say is, i don't think you could be louder if you tried. the endless partying, yelling, tv watching, laughing, etc. at all hours of the night, is starting to get old. i don't get enough sleep as it is, and you are not helping the situation. i even rearranged my bedroom to get my head further away from the wall we share [but that was ok, i was wanting a change anyway. see pictures below for new arrangement]. so please sir, let me sleep, and study, in peace. i would greatly appreciate it.
oh humble abode on hollyvale street, you have been great, but it would be a lie to say that i am not looking forward to the day when we get to part ways in a few short months.


[thank you neighbor sir, for this new arrangement]

hump day.

fresh cut grass.
i love the smell of fresh cut grass. it takes me back. it takes me back to a place in my childhood. one full of innocence. one without the stress, fear, and chaos that this world holds. fresh cut grass takes me back to a place of happiness, joy, summertime, smiles, laughter. fresh cut grass takes me back to a place where my siblings were my best friends, my dad was my protector, and my mom was superwoman. there are days that i long to go back to the days of fresh cut grass. today is one of those days. i wish i could leave the chaos, hurt, anger, and craziness of this world, and go back to when life was simple. i wish i could go back to the time when my saturdays were filled with the smell of fresh cut grass.



happy wednesday everyone!

my little sucker.

i was asked by a coworker the other day about my christmas. ok jeremy, we are more than halfway through january, christmas has come and gone [for a while now], but i will still tell you about my christmas. he asked me if i got everything that i wanted, and i responded with a very enthusiastic YES! and this conversation made me realize that i had yet to talk about my new love for probably my favorite christmas present of all time.
back up a few months, when i moved into my apartment back in august, i was lacking many a household items that are seen as essential. one of these essential items, a vacuum. that's right, i did not own a vacuum. oh well, it wasn't that big of deal. it was only me in my apartment, and let's be honest, i am not even here for a third of my life. however, after a few months of not having a vacuum, it started to get a teansy gross [at least to me...the average person would find my living condition just fine. but i have slight ocd tendencies...enough said]. and [at least i thought], the state of my apartment ground began to get embarrassing, i am just going to add that as well.
so, [my] christmas morning came [it was actually the evening of the 23rd, which is why i said [my] christmas morning], and i got the present that my apartment most desperately needed, and i definitely wanted. a vacuum. that is all my own. [who is the grown up now???]. my very own bagless hoover. it sucks big time [this is when you start laughing]. i love it. a lot. thank you again mom and pops, my apartment is now a much happier, cleaner, and healthier place. and jeremy, i wish you knew about my blog so that you could see pictures of the excitement that i tried to reenact for you.


[i am not excited at all]


[my new baby]

on irrational fear.

church tonight at rock harbor fullerton was amazing. the sermon was about being anxious...eek, i know, sticky subject. i realized tonight that i always avoid talking about anxiety and relying on God, because i do such a horrible job at it. i have a tendency to be an anxious person. there, i said it, it is out in the open. i am anxious about a lot of things in my life, and i hate that i am. some things that i worry about on a more regular than not basis:

money [the fact that graduation is quickly approaching and i have a ton of student loans is starting to freak me out].
i won't graduate [i know, crazy, but at the pit of my stomach i am petrified that something will happen and i won't walk across that stage on may 7th].
i will end up alone.
i won't find a job after i graduate.
money.
i will never be good enough.
i will crash the ambulance at work and get fired [this seems silly, but it is still something i am nervous about...even after 2 years].
money.
i will look back on my life and have regrets.
i will fail [i have an irrational fear about failing. i don't want to be a failure].

i hate that i worry as much as i do, and i realize that this is a huge area of my life that i need to consciously work on. the speaker tonight explained how joy is an irrational gratitude in all circumstances. and also how anxiety is the opposite of joy, and it is an irrational fear. i long to rid myself of my irrational fears. an encouraging verse that i was reminded of was philippians 4:4-7:

"4rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: rejoice! 5let your gentleness be evident to all. the Lord is near. 6do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

so Lord, here are my irrational fears. take them. fill me with an irrational gratitude in all circumstances. i am ready. i want to be done living a life of fear, because that is no way to live.

this is me, not giving up.

there is light near the end of the tunnel, finally. today we had a FULL introduction to my critical care nursing class, and needless to say, i am feeling a teansy bit overwhelmed. how on earth am i going to learn everything that i need to this semester!! this is actually the first semester that i wished i didn't have to work. right now, i would love nothing more to be able to devote all of my time to this class. even though my end career goal isn't to be critical care nurse [but who knows, God has a sense of humor], i still want to do well in this class. i really want to finish my college career strong, and having to work full time has really hindered my ability to do this in the past. i am really going to be relying on God this semester to provide me with energy, strength, and endurance. as well, i am really going to have to trust Him with my finances, since my funds will definitely be depleated because i cannot pick up my normal amount of overtime. i do know that God has His hand in my life though, i can feel it, and i am trusting he will take care of me these last 114 days. i almost there, i am in the sprint to the finish line, i can do it.
during my quiet time last night, i stumbled onto a verse that i felt was incredibly encouraging for my life right now. it was galations 6:9-10. it reads:

"9let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

recently, i have been feeling really burned out on life. it is sometimes hard to not get frustrated feeling that all you do is give to others, and no one is giving to you. at work i give myself to others, at clinical i give myself to others...and it can simply become exhausting. this verse reminded that it is all worth it. doing good and caring for other, it is all worth it. i am going to reap a good harvest if i do not give up. so this is me, not giving up.


[photo courtesy of anjuli paschall]
i missed posting for my nephew AVERY ROCK'S 1ST BIRTHDAY! [his birthday was on the 7th of this month...i was in oregon]. so happy [late] birthday little man, keep rocking steady, because you rock my world.

hump day.

on being better.
a couple of weeks ago, i heard the quote [i don't remember the quote exactly, so it is not going to get quotation marks...], that in order to be better, you need to surround yourself with those that are better than you. surround yourself with greatness, in order that you might be great. i have been so blessed to be surrounded by great people, and i know that they are making me better. so for the people in my life that make me better, this post is for you.

mom & dad
you both inspire me. you both work hard and have challenged me to go after my dreams. thank you for always reminding me to believe in myself, and for always [eventually] supporting me and my larger than life dreams [i know you are both still getting used to the idea of your daughter being a firefighter]. thank you for setting an example of what it means to live Godly lives. i know that it is through your example that i have a relationship with Christ today. and thank you for your love. on days when i feel alone in the world, i know that i can always turn to you both for endless words of love and inspiration.



kara
i feel so blessed to have had you as my best friend for the past twelve years. all the major ups and downs that i have had in my life, you have been there for. thank you for always being willing to listen to my heart, no matter how ridiculous it may be. you challenge me, and you are always making me a better person. thank you for your endless supply of love and support. thank you for keeping me grounded and never being afraid to tell me the truth, no matter how painful it may be to me. everyone deserves a friend like you.



burckle, detoy, & estrada
all three of you keep my life interesting, to say the least. you all have made me such a stronger person [i guess i am appreciative of all the pranks after all]. the drive and determination you all have inspires me, and is a big reason why i began pursuing firefighting. thank you for your endless lessons on: how to use a grill, on scene parking, disconnecting car batteries, fire apparatuses, and learning how to figure things out on my own. i love you all like family, even if you do tease me about foleys.







thompson
you remind me to never give up. you challenge me. you inspire me with your determination. i can't wait till we are firefighters together. i am so thankful for you.



summer start nursing class of 2011
you are some of the most compassionate and caring people i have ever met. you all inspire me with each of your stories. thank you for the constant support and encouragement, i don't know if i could have made it this far without you all. press on guys, we are almost there.



devon & steve
you two have been such a big part of my life throughout my college years. you always are filled with such love and support for me. i am inspired by your love for others. i cannot even begin to describe how much i am going to miss you two when you move to india. but i know God has big things in store for you over there.



grace & margie
i don't know how i would get through nursing school without the two of you. thank you for always being willing to listen to my fears, joys, and heartaches. driving to the hospital after graduation just isn't going to be the same without you both in the car. your love and encouragement has truly made the biggest difference in my life the last two years, i am so thankful for you two.



tommy
even though we only got to work together a few months, those few months changed me. you remind me that you can set a Godly example in such a secular line of work. you touched and inspired me with your kindness and servant attitude. keep pushing through your rookie year buddy, newport beach is lucky to have you.



my siblings
jessica, amanda, stephanie, and nathan. you all make my life. you all keep me young. you remind me of the simple things in life, and how they can bring you the most joy. thank you for making up the foundation of me. thank you for the endless childhood memories. thank you teaching me how to dream. thank you for always loving me, even when i am horrible to you. and thank you for always putting on musicals with me when we were kids, because those are definitely my favorite childhood memories. i love you all more than you know.



the rivas men
mike, thank you for marrying my sister and becoming my older brother. i always wanted an older brother. thank you for teaching me about acceptance and unconditional love. quintin and avery, you bring my heart such joy. i am so excited to watch you grow up. you make me want to be a mom. thank you for teaching me about a love that i never knew was possible.



bumpa sawyer and grandma minnick
thank you for your unwavering love my entire life. grandpa, you taught me hard work and that there is grace and such a Godly example of being a man with a calm and quiet spirit. i pray that my husband has your quiet spirit. grandma, thank you for your constant prayers. thank you for teaching me gratitude. you both have made such a huge impact on my life, words cannot even begin to describe.

fight on.

today was my LAST first clinical day, ever (can i get a WOO! from my woo girls!). i am in my critical care semester, and am doing my rotation at USC university hospital. i am so blessed to be here because it a world-renown hospital, and absolutely amazing.
now, call me a dumb blonde, but when i originally requested this hospital for my critical care rotation, i thought it was county usc. now, about half way through last semester, after i already received my clinical assignment for this semester, i was informed devastating [at least to me...] news, this hospital does not have an er. however, i simply assumed that we would go to a different hospital for our "er day" so we would still get experience. that makes sense right? all nursing students should spent at least one day in the er during their nursing school experience...well, i found out today that since we are at a hospital without an er, my clinical group will spend zero days in an emergency room. hearing this in clinical today, i was heartbroken. honestly, i have been so looking forward to this semester because i would get to spend time in the emergency room. and now that i don't, if i am being completely honest, i am crushed. i am really trying to stay positive about the situation, and i know that God has his hand in this, i just really wish i could get just one day to spend in the er working as a nurse. yes, i spend a lot of time in various emergency rooms, but i am never there with a nursing perspective. i guess that will just have to come with my first job [Lord wiling!]. but this is going to be a good semester. we are learning really awesome, interesting information that i am passionate about [for the first time in nursing school]. so it is going to be good. and there are only 116 more days till graduation [i just had to sneak that piece of information in here!!].


[my clinical group outside the hospital. LAST first day!]



on a different note, i made a great discovery tonight. tuesday night yoga at 24 hour fitness. i have been going to 24 hour fitness for a couple of years, but can count the number of times i have been to a group class on one hand. anyway, it was awesome. it was such a nice change to my typical workout schedule, and the instructor worked us! i think tuesday night yoga may become my new thing.

the pacific northwest.

i just got back from a fabulous trip with my dear friends devon and steve to the gorgeous state of oregon to visit our friends beth and eric. beth and devon were my roommates when i was at biola, and it is always so great to spend time with them [and their husbands!]. we got there on wednesday, and came back sunday morning, and i cannot describe how amazing it was to simply get away from the hustle and bustle of life, and spend some good quality time with old friends.

wednesday:

[getting on our flight to portland!]

thursday:
on our first full day there, we explored the beautiful city of portland. for quite a long time, i was determined to move to the northwest after i graduated from nursing school, and being back there definitely reminded me why i wanted to move in the first place. it is just so beautiful, calm, and peaceful there...and there is a coffee shop on every street corner [definitely my way of life!]. however, the few times that i shared about work, i was reminded why i have decided to stay in los angeles after graduation. people talk about the need and poverty overseas, however, they have no idea the need there is right here in los angeles. the community of south central los angeles is one that is full of hurt, hate, anger...and it is one that has been forgotten about. and even though it is something that can drive me crazy at times, i feel called to serve the people of this community. so pacific northwest, i may come reside in one of your beautiful states someday...but i have a job to do first. anyway, that was a tangent, getting back to thursday [our first full day there]. beth had a nursing interview in the morning, so she dropped devon, steve, and me off and we explored the city for a few hours. she then met up with us and we went HAPPY HOUR HOPPING. i had never done it before, but it was so much fun! good [and cheap!] food, good friends, and delicious drinks...yes please.


[at a cute little cafe called vivace's...the food and coffee was delicious]






[this bookstore was HUGE! we were in here for a really long time...it was awesome]


[happy hour 1: jake's bar and grill]


[happy hour 2: henry's tavern]




[happy hour 3: portland city grill. it was 30 stories up! it was awesome!]

friday:
we spent our second day at cannon beach on the coast. words cannot describe how beautiful it was! there is just something about lush beautiful trees going right up to the water line...it simply takes your breath away. after we walked around and took pictures on the beach we went and got lunch at a little cafe in town that was just delicious. it was another great day...







saturday:
on saturday we had a nice slow morning at beth's house, and it snowed!! it was so much fun, especially since none of us see snow on a regular basis. beth's older brother had gotten married in hawaii 2 weeks ago, so her and eric had his wedding reception to go to, so steve devon and i spent the afternoon in a shopping center and found our way over to a small pub called mcmenamins. here we enjoyed some delicious sweet potato fries, drank some really bad spanish coffee [but made a come back with delicious ruby beer], and simply shared our hearts with each other. i was reminded this afternoon how blessed i am. not many people can sit in a small pub in the middle of nowhere for hours and simply share and listen the thoughts and feelings with good friends. devon and steve, thank you for letting me share my heart with you, i am so grateful to have you in my life.




[beth and eric's HUGE beautiful house!]


[at mcmenamins]

sunday:
on sunday, we woke up really early for our flight, and we back in los angeles by 0900, which was good since i had a million things to get ready for school. overall, it was a great trip. beth and eric, thank you for your hospitality, we were all blown away with the love that you showed us. devon and steve, thank you for being my traveling buddies...i enjoy the trips we take together. beth and devon...thank you for still being in my life even though our college days together are over. you two have been such a huge blessing to me over the last 4 years, i love you both dearly [and your husbands are pretty cool too]. this was a perfect way to end winter break and gear up for the LAST semester of school...nursing, bring it. i am rested, refreshed, and ready to go out with a bang.




[on our very early flight back to los angeles]

and on a side note, please go listen to THIS SONG. it is my current obsession right now, and it is kind of awesome.