thoughts on christmas.

christmas time during my childhood was such a special time, a sacred time, and a time that my entire family looked forward to all year. the minnick family has always had traditions, and we have always loved these traditions. it is funny how as time passes, these traditions slowly fade away, and become merely memories.
since i left the comfort of my parent's home, i will be the first to admit that i had become a grinch. i was not a fan of the holidays. they made me, well, for lack of a better word, sad. i am not sure if it was because holidays made me feel lonely, or if it was just because i was so exhausted i didn't have enough energy to want to celebrate anything, i am not sure. but the last few years, the holidays and myself have not been friends.
i wanted things to be different this year. the last couple of years i feel that my life has been in a fog, and i have been trying to break free...i am ready to start living again. i have a picture of my life in my head, and my heart aches for my reality to align with my expectations. i long to care about things again. most days i feel that i am cold, heartless, and have no feelings...and i hate it. i want to feel things again.
the point of all this: christmas, the holidays, whatever you want to call them...they are what you make of them. and i decided this year that i was going to make them great. one BIG step that i took was to buy my own christmas year. not a fake tree, not a charlie brown tree, but my very own, full, lush, beautiful tree.





another thing i decided to do was to spend more time with people this holiday season. recently i have been trying to reach out to people more and make an effort to build stronger relationships with others, and i didn't want this christmas season to be excluded. God created us to be in community with others, and i am really try to live out my life with this mentality...we were not created to go through life alone. so, after finals were over, my entire nursing class came over to my house and we did out secret santa exchange. it was such a precious time and it was so great being able to fellowship with all the amazing people God has placed in my life.





now i had to work on the 25th, but i was completely alright with that. i had been able to spend the previous two days with my family, and it was such a precious time. my family drove up on the 23rd, and we celebrated at my house...with an entire christmas feast (including a turkey, which i cooked...i was proud). i then went to san diego on the 24th, and we took part in all the regular christmas eve festivities [church, dinner and presents at grandma's, etc.]. it was such a great time being with them [i will post pictures soon]. as 2010 wraps up, i ponder what has happened this year, and this one thing i have learned...the holidays are what you make of them, and i plan on remembering this for many holidays to come.