hump day.

fear.
i have waves. waves of being brave. sometimes, i am ready to conquer the world. other times, i become paralyzed with fear.

when i got my first tattoo, that was not one of my bravest moments. just ask my friend devon. i laid on the bed and would not let the tattoo artist even touch for my foot for a good half an hour. i was petrified of the pain. but i did get it, eventually. and that definitely made me much braver when i got my second tattoo.

when i was a kid, i was always the brave one. just ask my parents. i was always the one seeking out some type of thrill [specifically in roller coasters. i was obsessed with those things]. i would never not do anything because i was afraid.

recently, my fear has started to take over me. i am scared that i am going to make a wrong decision. that i will fail. that i will say the wrong thing. that i won't gain other people's approval.

this new fear, it is paralyzing. and i hate it.

i know God is sovereign. and i know he has a plan. a plan that will be perfect. a plan that, in the end, will all make sense. a plan that will be like a beautiful song, with every key in harmony.

so i am just waiting patiently, for my song to finish being composed.





[fall 2007. devon and i showing off a brand new tattoos.]