graduation.

i made it to my 100th post. kind of crazy that i have had that much to write about over the last year. anyway, getting back on topic... i guess i have been putting off writing a post about graduation, because in my head, i have this post "built up." i think of my post concerning college graduation as one that will hold a lot of wisdom, a lot of memories, a lot of emotion, and a lot of truth. and honestly, the last two weeks, i don't know what i have been feeling [so that makes it especially hard to put my thoughts and feelings into words].
graduation, was, bittersweet. i expected to be filled with a lot more tears than i was [actually, i got the majority of my tears out at convocation friday morning]. the whole weekend was just a whirlwind, and a part of me is still in shock that it actually happened. six years. six years, and one trip across the stage, and that was it. it was over. my nursing cohort will probably all never be together again, which is just so weird. you spend two years [two of the hardest years of your life might i add] with these people, and one walk across the stage, and its over. one walk across the stage, and we were all thrown into this thing called life. we were all thrown into this thing that speeds by like a freight train, and there is no way to slow it down. we were all thrown into thing called life where the days, the weeks, and the months begin to blur together; and there is no longer separation of time by semesters, papers, and classes. we were all handed back our life that night, and given the freedom to do what we want, and that is scary. we no longer have school to rely on as an excuse for why something isn't done, we are now completely responsible for ourselves and how our life turns out. graduation day. it was one of the greatest days of my life, and also one of the scariest. it was really the first day when i had to officially enter the real world, and i responded by saying "it's been a long time coming, and it turns out, i am really scared to meet you..."

[a few moments from graduation weekend...]




























































i still can't believe i'm done. God has been faithful, and i know he will continue to be as i enter this new chapter of my life. i am excited to see where He takes me next. thank you to all my dear friends and family who helped get me to this point, i couldn't have done it without you. love you all more than you will ever know.

you were here.

i was pinned today. and i graduate from college tomorrow. God is good.

...that i may be a good steward...

[now a little preview]




1 day.

bittersweet.

the celebrations have already begun. on thursday we turned in our last case study. ever. wow. i never thought that day would come. and i picked up my cap and gown. so, grace and i went to max's for mexican food and margaritas to celebrate [it was bomb!!].





then on friday, kara and i hiked garcia trail in the morning. it was so great to start the day off exercising and in the midst of nature. i just felt so at peace throughout the hike. it was such a good way to start my last weekend as a student.





and now today. today was my last day of precepting. it was, well, bittersweet. i was so excited, because, well, that is just one step closer to being done with school. but at the same time, it is one step closer to me having to start facing my fears, and begin trying to figure out the true desires of my heart, and what path God is leading me on. today made me that much closer to losing my identity as a student...an identity that i have been so comfortable with for nearly 20 years. today was bittersweet.












[me and raffi...aka bomb preceptor. and he used to work for westmed. small world]

7 days.

c h a n g e.

i realize that i probably sound like a broken record, and i really do apologize, bear with me, thanks. 1 month. wow. 1 month. this 6 year journey, and i am down to my final month before i walk across that stage and get my diploma. when did it happen. even though it has dragged on forever, at the same time, the years have quickly flown by. i honestly don't think it has hit me yet. i am going to [hopefully] be working as a nurse soon. i mean, come on, that just sounds so legit [and grown up], i am not old enough to be a nurse [at least i don't feel like i am]. i am going to have a degree in a month. my life is going to consist of working and anything else i want. freedom. weird...i don't even know what that feels like. and i have a feeling it is going to take a while to get used to that concept. a lot of people have told me that i am going to be extremely bored and go crazy...which is probably true. but before i go crazy, i am going to sleep. i am going to sleep like my life depended on it. and i am going to enjoy every last minute of it. it is going to be fantastic. and then i am going to pay back all of the trades that i owe people for the last 2 years [station 9, you guys have been great, couldn't have done it without you!].
as weird as it sounds, i am already starting to go through a withdrawal. and i know the week of may 7th is just going to be a water work show [i apologize in advance everybody]. because, you see, this thing called change...i usually don't handle it very well. i am a creature of habit. i make plans weeks in advance, i stick to a routine, i get comfortable, and i enjoy it. i know God is trying to teach me a lot about getting out of a routine. he does not want us to live a life of routines. he wants our life to be full of life and excitement! and this is a concept that i am definitely going to need to learn. pray for me over this next month guys, please. a lot of changes are headed my way, and i need prayer for peace and wisdom during this time. also, please be praying for strength for me over the next couple of weeks, because it is getting down to the wire and life is ridiculous. i am trying to learn to reach out and ask for help when i need it, so this is me, reaching out.
bring it change, i am ready to face you [at least i hope so].

hump day.

there are only 30 more days, so i felt like this was appropriate...

save the date!
azusa pacific university class of 2011

erin rebecca minnick
bachelor of science in nursing
saturday may 7th, 2011 at six o'clock in the evening
cougar athletic stadium

pinning ceremony for the nursing class of 2011
friday may 6th, 2011 at two o'clock in the afternoon
felix event center

40 days and 40 nights.

to those of you who read my blog religiously, i want to apologize for my consistent excitement about my graduation on may 7th. may i add, that this is occurring in 40 short days. 40 [insert ecstatic comments and screaming here]. 6 years of school... filled with anger, frustration, tears, confusion, laughter, joy, and heartaches...6 years, and i have reached the last 40 days. i can hardly believe it. it still hasn't hit me. the fact that in 40 days i can no longer call myself a student. i feel like i am going to go through an identity crisis, so much of who i have been over these years has been based on my identity as a student, and that will be gone. just a walk across that stage, a turning of a tassel, and my college career is going to be over. it's weird. no more early morning study sessions at the bucks. no more $300 spent on books for 1 semester. no more 70 page case studies. no more of having guilt in the pit of your stomach when you spend an evening with friends because you know you should be studying. no more...i have a feeling that i won't even know what to do with my self. i am starting to make a list of everything that i want to do after graduation...to keep me busy...so that the adjustment of post-graduation isn't such a shocker. i am looking forward to who i am going to be after i am done with school. i am excited about where my life is going to take me, and what God has in store for me! if anything, the last 6 years have definitely taught me that God has a sense of humor and we can always expect the unexpected...i am ready, willing, and waiting to see what the unexpected is.


[i am definitely looking forward to spending more time with these people after graduation!]

neurology.

have you ever heard the phrase "the more you learn the less you know?" i first heard it in high school from my amazing chemistry teacher [holla at mr. e!]. i honestly didn't really understand that phrase during my good 'ol high school days, but today, that phrase slapped me straight across the face. my clinical rotation today was in the neurology intensive care unit at usc univeristy hospital, and let's just say that it was just a teansy overwhelming. actually, let me take that back, it was inredibly overwhelming. as i mentioned yesterday, neurology makes me nervous. though i have a deep love for derek shepard and all of his awesome neuro surgical skills, i have never felt a deep calling or connection to neurosurgery/neuroscience/neurology. never. so today was stretching. very stretching. and while i was reading charts, assessing my patient, talking to doctors, nurses, and respiratory therapists, i very quickly felt incompetent. in my mind, the entire day, i kept thinking "who are you kidding...you are definitely not smart enough to be here. you just need to go home and read for hours because you have no idea what is going." now, i know these thoughts are a little extreme, but that is how i felt. not competent. and not ready [knowledge wise] to graduate in may.
so, with all that said, i am going to make myself vulnerable to the blogging world, and ask for support [which is so hard for me, because i am always very self reliant. always have, always will]. please be praying for me. i am overwhelmed this semester. i feel like i am simply trying to keep my head above waves that are crashing in all around me. i feel that it is a daily struggle to stay positive and remind myself that i can do this. i spent the day doubting myself, and i am exhausted. and now i have to go work on my case study. please just pray that God gives me strength and energy, because this is the hardest marathon that i have ever ran, and i am simply trying not to collapse before i sprint across that finish line.


[i get to see this amazing girl, my old roommate bre williams, on thursday after clinical [and after i turn in my case study!] and i am so excited! catching up with old friends is always stellar]

it's monday.

it's monday. boy, is it monday. we had our first critical care test today. it actually wasn't as bad as everyone was expecting.phew. that is all i have to say. 1 down, 4 to go! and there are 95 days left till graduation in case you were wondering. the rest of this week is going to be busy. actually, i think the word busy is an understatement...paper due wednesday, 1st case study due thursday, work friday, pals [that's pediatric advanced life support for all of my non-medical friends] saturday, and work again on sunday. shoot.
on a side note, i got to have dinner with my old roommate emily on saturday. and can i just say, life is so much better when you live it intentionally. mankind is not an island, and i am so glad that i have really been living my life according to that. God created us to be in fellowship with one another, not to go through this life alone. wow. that was a tangent. anyway, emily. we had dinner on saturday [and it gave me a nice break from studying for my test]. and she was so sweet and brought me flowers as a house warming gift [because this was her first trip to my house]! i absolutely love fresh flowers, so this just made my week! aren't they beautiful...







and i am on the neurological icu tomorrow at clinical...which makes me kind of nervous. cranial nerves have never been my strong point. this is going to be interesting...

happy monday everyone!

yay and [nay].

yay
1. late night runs around the apu track
2. fresh coffee
3. the little something that lit candles add to a room
4. good friends becoming nurses together
5. God's overwhelming grace and unfailing love
6. pandora
7. 97 days till graduation
8. starbucks miniature donuts and venti mistos

nay
1. sleep deprivation
2. case studies
3. test anxiety
4. not having enough time in a day
5. lafd hiring freeze
6. school loans
7. not having time to see the fam bam
8. community laundry room