honesty.

honesty. it is something that i value. that i value highly. so i am going to be honest here. the last few months, actually this past year, has been hard. i have been leaning to the patterns of this world, and have been in denial about it. i have been failing as a sister, a daughter, and a friend. i have been so consumed with the desires of my heart, i have let my relationship with Christ fall at the wayside. i had realized that had happened a long time ago, but was too exhausted to do anything about it.
last night i went to rockharbor fullerton with kara, and it was my first time to "big church" in months, and it felt so good. it felt good to worship God, to learn about him, and be surrounded by those who love him. last night i really realized how much work [and being surrounded by sin, anger, and cussing literally 24/7] had taken its toll on me. i love work, and i love those that i work with, but the constant f*bombs can get old after a while. the service was so encouraging, and so uplifting.
today is a new day. today i want to renew my walk in Christ. i want to fall back in love with him. i miss the relationship that i had with him when i was at biola. so this is me, being honest. God, i am your instrument, please use me, i am ready to serve you.