bittersweet.

the celebrations have already begun. on thursday we turned in our last case study. ever. wow. i never thought that day would come. and i picked up my cap and gown. so, grace and i went to max's for mexican food and margaritas to celebrate [it was bomb!!].





then on friday, kara and i hiked garcia trail in the morning. it was so great to start the day off exercising and in the midst of nature. i just felt so at peace throughout the hike. it was such a good way to start my last weekend as a student.





and now today. today was my last day of precepting. it was, well, bittersweet. i was so excited, because, well, that is just one step closer to being done with school. but at the same time, it is one step closer to me having to start facing my fears, and begin trying to figure out the true desires of my heart, and what path God is leading me on. today made me that much closer to losing my identity as a student...an identity that i have been so comfortable with for nearly 20 years. today was bittersweet.












[me and raffi...aka bomb preceptor. and he used to work for westmed. small world]

7 days.

devon.

my dear friend devon turns 24 today. you might remember me mentioning her birthday party a few posts ago, well, today is her real birthday! yeahhhh 24!! this girl is absolutely amazing, and has been such a huge part of my support system over my college years. we lived on the same floor when i was at biola my freshman and sophomore year, and then we lived in an apartment together our junior and senior year. she has taught me so much about God, being loved, and loving others. her and her husband steve are moving to india in july to do missions [they are amazing, i know]. i am going to miss them so much.
happy birthday devon, love you so much, i am going to miss you dearly.


[me and devon on my 21st birthday]


[me, devon, and our dear friend charissa in times square. new years eve 2008]


[me and devon on her wedding day. august 2009]


[me and devon in las vegas. new years 2009]


[me and devon in fullerton after shooting my senior pictures. april 2011]

9.

9.
i feel like the number 9 has been significant in my life. first, it is my station. it is my second home, it has where i have spent 1/3 of my life for the last 2 1/2 years. i take pride in the number 9.
i started nursing school my 9th semester of college. the tears, excitement, and pain from the first 8...and semester 9 started a completely different journey.
tonight, i am finishing my 9th and final case study of nursing school. hundreds of pages later, and i am finishing my last one.
and today, i have 9 more days till graduation. 6 years later, and i only have 9 days left. praise the sheperd. God is good.

9 more days.

easter.

the older you get, the different holidays become. i remember growing up, easter was such a huge deal. we [the 4 of us girls] would always get new easter dresses for church that day, the entire family would come over for a delicious easter dinner, and easter baskets were always awesome. easter wasn't like that this year, or last year either. i haven't been to church on easter in 2 years...i have had to work. i realize that this is a reality of adulthood, but it is just kind of funny that a holiday that was such a big deal a few years ago, is now simply another day at work.
last year i got my second tattoo the day before easter. it is on the side of my foot, and it reads "his wounds have paid my ransom..." when i was in the heart of inglewood yesterday, i thought a lot about this phrase. i thought a lot about the sacrifice of Christ. i thought a lot about how i wish i had honored his sacrifice more yesterday. thank you my most almighty savior for saving me. for giving me new life. for giving me the opportunity to live this life free of chains. because of you, i am washed.
so, even though it is a day late, happy easter. may you remember the sacrifice that Christ made for all of us, and may we live our lives accordingly.


[the last easter i spent with my family. 2009]

12 days.

feminine.

so, i went through this phase. it was at its peak about a year ago. dark hair and refusing to wear makeup. i was trying to prove a point. i was trying to prove to the world that i was tough, that i didn't need my feminine side. the skirts, dresses, makeup, i was trying to show the world that i didn't need any of it. i was trying to prove to myself that i didn't need any of it. i went through this phase, where being a girl was weak, so i didn't everything in my power to be the opposite of a girl. i didn't care what i looked like, i just cared about whether or not i came across as tough. i was trying to show everyone who doubted me, that i could be a firefighter. i was trying to show myself.
but what i have found, or more what i have realized, is that i don't have to lose my femininity to be a firefighter. i don't have to change myself to be a firefighter, i can let it become a part of who i already am. a year ago, i had lost myself. i didn't know who i was. but i feel that that is changing, slowly. i feel like i am finding myself again. i feel like i am learning who i am, or who i am suppose to be, and that is a good feeling. and i am learning that who i am suppose, can include showing my girly side.
and my dear friend devon salisbury took senior pictures for me this past sunday. thank you devon! so enjoy :) have a great thursday everyone.

















































16 days.

etsy.

so, maybe i am behind the times [actually, that is more than likely true...], but today, i made a beautiful discovery. etsy. i had heard of it, but i never knew what it was all about. well, today, that changed. oh my goodness, it is a good thing that i have some self control, because i wanted to buy everything that i saw. it is all so beautiful! and it made me wish i made cool vintage items to sell [i am taking suggestions]. but i suppose for now, i will just have to look in awe. oh etsy, i have a feeling you are going to be trouble.

oh hey there, spring break.

this weekend has been so good. i have felt so blessed. number 1, this weekend has fallen right in the middle of my not working for 9 days, i have not felt so rested in such a long time. it really is quite amazing what sleeping through the night can do for you. i feel like a new person! i feel like this much energy could be dangerous...if this is how it is going to be after graduation, watch out world, you are going to be taken by storm!

friday:
my best friend turned 24. to celebrate her birthday i took her to the americana in glendale [i forgot how adorable this place is! love it there!]. we got a quick dinner at an adorable diner, then went and saw source code. it was fantastic. and i want to marry jake gyllenhaal [he is so beautiful]. it was just so great to spend a relaxing and fun evening with kara. birthdays are just so great.







saturday:
after the last day of a mandatory nclex review, i got to celebrate my dear dear friend devon's birthday at the beach in dana point. it was an absolutely beautiful day, and it was so good to catch up and celebrate her life.









sunday:
first, i absolutely love sundays. they are definitely my favorite day of the week. after getting to sleep in [which is always such a treat], i met up with devon in fullerton for her to do senior pictures for me. she is such a talented photographer, i am so blessed by such talented friends! so we walked around fullerton, took pictures, got lunch...it was such good quality time. i love spending time with this girl, and am going to miss her so much when she moves to india with her husband steve in july. they are definitely my heroes. they are doing exactly what God has called them to do, and that is just so incredible and such a beautiful thing to see.

and now i am officially on spring break [if you could call it that...]. 20 more days.

so long solo.

i have lived by myself this past year. it had definitely been a growing experience. i have learned how to be completely independent, because if something needed to get done, i had to do it, there was no one else. well, life alone is quickly winding down, because my best friend kara is moving in to my apartment this week. then, 3 short weeks after that, we are making the big move to the white part of the thomas guide [the 110/pch]. we are going to be moving to our beautiful townhome on may 10th. it is going to be good living with someone else again, especially since i am not going to have the craziness of school keeping me preoccupied. and we have a growing list of activities that we are going to partake in once the big move happens. change is quickly approaching, and life is good.


[yosemite. summer 2005. so excited to live with this amazing girl!]

skyler boice!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SKYLER!

i have known skyler, well, forever. literally. my 3rd birthday party and chucky cheese, she was there. and today she turns 23. we have known each other for over 20 years. holy guacamole batman, that is a long time. i was so lucky to get to live with her the last year of her non-married life. she is such an amazing woman of God, i am so blessed by her! love you boo! i can't wait to be able to see you more with all of the free time i am going to have on my hands :]


[me and boo on her wedding day!]